When it came to confrontation in "Return of the Jedi", the Emperor was told: "Overconfidence is your weakness." Mr. Palpatine and I are different in this respect.
I hate negotiating, and I avoid confrontation unless my blood is really boiling. I'm told this is because I "like to be liked". Who doesn't?
When I was employed in retail establishments, I enjoyed most those positions which involved social interplay, and not horse-trading. As a teenager, I would seek employment in video stores; what better way to spend an evening than socializing with the public, discussing movies, and having no pressure to sell the commodity? People always walked out with a film (on VHS!).
My first brush with commissioned sales was in a Levi's store, Christmastime, about twenty years ago. I would receive a small commission on any sale. Once I answered a client's needs, I would guide them and their new jeans to the cash, and utter some catchphrase - either "Thank you." or "There you go." loud enough that the cashier would turn and notice it was I who had helped the client. Unfortunately, I worked with two girls who were retail sales sharks. They would circle the racks, just out of sight, only to glide to the front of the store and greet the customer within five feet of the entrance. They would never take "I'm just looking" for an answer. They would hound the client:
"Have you seen our specials?"
"Did you notice the rack with our new winter line of shirts?"
"Come with me, I'll show you some of our best deals."
They were relentless; I was nauseous. I felt pushing someone passed their "Just looking, thanks." comfort zone was offensive. As a shopper, my "Just looking." meant "Bugger off."
I eventually took a job selling radio airtime to potential advertisers. Yes, I was selling air. The job involved cold-calling start-up businesses, whose owners were young couples having just poured their life savings into a dream. There I was, on the other end of the phone, trying to steal their money. I hid a bottle of painkillers in my suit pocket, and lasted six months at the position.
Of course it's one thing to feel uncomfortable being a salesman; it's another being too intimidated to argue for you own enjoyment's sake. I've received pizzas with the wrong ingredients, and eaten it anyway, not wanting to be the 'difficult customer' on the other end of the line. I pay more than I should for many big ticket items, such as electronics and cars, knowing how much I resented having the screws put to me as a salesman. In a showcase of naïveté, when the dealer tells me "That's the best I can do.", I belive him. There are those, however, who revel in debate and adjudication. Often, these people have the means to forego price-chopping completely. I'm friends with a successful business owner who not only negotiates a better price on even the smallest of items, but will also accompany friends to retail establishments to negotiate on their behalf. Even standing next to someone while they barter by proxy makes me queasy.
At home, I'm responsible for phone calls requiring corporate confrontation - poor service from our telecommunications provider for instance. In situations where I have been wronged, I'm reticent to take the initial step toward crisis resolution. BUT! I often get so frustrated by the level of bureaucracy and stupidity on the other end of the phone, I become a man possessed. I draw inspiration from the greatest negotiation ever captured on film:
Of course, it didn't get him anywhere. Not only that, the moral of that story proved that being a prick gets you nowhere.
I don't think my Confrontaphobia or Negotiamentia makes me any less of a man, and maybe it's true that I like to be liked. But, mostly, I believe these traits are a combination of two truisms: 'Do unto others as you would have done unto you', and 'Life's just too damn short to be wasted dickering about.'...or something like that. Besides, if I have a ever have a desperate need for negotiation, I'll clone Luke Skywalker who was told, referring to his weakness: "Your faith in your friends is yours."
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