Household Chores: A Labor of Love & Hate.

I firmly subscribe to the philosophy "Money Doesn't Buy You Happiness." But:

If you are already a generally happy chap, a surplus of disposable income can do much to remove restrictions which cause stress: choosing a more comfortable vacation destination, throwing the family in the car for a last minute trip to a nice steakhouse because you just don't feel like making supper tonight, or having someone to keep your house in order.

I don't mind household chores; however they do infringe on time I would otherwise fill quite easily with more enjoyable activities. But since, for the moment, I do not have a butler, or maid, or cook, or concierge, I must do my share of deck-swabbing. After several conversations with wives whose husband abhor housework, I'll be the voice of an unsilent minority. I don't mind scutwork, but there are some undertakings I prefer:

Laundry: I don't get the objection to doing laundry, unless you are making trips to a pond with a stick of detergent and a washboard. The machine does most of the work; turn it on, put in your soap, dump in the clothes, and wait. Then hang the delicate items or fill the drier, and wait (and return to tending to the kids who barely take a breath bewteen "Daddy, daddy, daddy's"). Then fold it all while watching Entourage, and put it all away.

  

Ironing: Again, a very Zen activity. No heavy lifting, just the gentle 'whoosh' of the steam, and the instant gratification of watching those creases slip away - like watching a zamboni resurface the local rink - and then fold and hang. Bring it on.

Vacuuming: One of my defining personality traits is my need to know, in advance, what is planned, and how long it will take. That's why I don't mind vacuuming. The dimensions of my house never change, nor does the size of my vacuum cleaner. I know I must push or pull it over the entire surface of the floor, and then put it away. I've also brought my blood pressure down a couple of notches by accepting that, regardless of how carefully I plan my route, there will inevitably be a dust bunny under my left foot immediately after I put the vacuum cleaner away.

 Gardening: Ok, up until two months ago, I would not have considered this a chore. After all, a household can function quite nicely without a garden. But, being married to someone with a green thumb who heads out to tend to our yard while I'm vacuuming, I've officially put this on the list. After all, if you do have a yard, you cannot let the whole thing wither and die. Besides, after much campaigning, not only  - as a salad lover  - do I now have a lovely vegetable garden, but also a wife who sees to it the garden survives from one week to the next. When I do get out there and (with much tutelage) plant, weed, transplant, and water, it clicks; I get why gardeners become obsessed with gardening. Who would not want the responsibility of being outdoors, among the flowers and trees, trowel and watering can in hand, communing with nature? It sure beats painting the deck.

 
Painting: I...hate...painting. I really don't know why. It, too,  involves no heavy lifting and no dirty pipes, and as long as you prepare properly, there are worse ways to spend a day than listening to the radio while running a brush along a plank of wood or a sheet of drywall. But I hate it. I hate that I'm always chasing after my own drips, I hate that my attention span allows me to really concentrate for only twenty minutes before I start to colour outside the lines. I hate that you can run a brush under a tap for a day-and-a-half and the thing is still wet with paint. I think it says a lot that when you remove the last letter, this chore becomes "pain". Although, it would be a close contest between painting and...

Dusting: Please. There are few activities more mundane than running an implement along, around, and under surfaces to remove particulate matter made up largely of human skin cells. A comedian once said that men specifically avoid dusting so we know where to put things back on the shelf when we're done with them. Although I just recently discovered our vacuum clear has a flexible hose with a duster attachment, so I guess it will still beat painting.

Plumbing: Believe it or not, ripping out, cleaning, disposing, and installing toilets and sinks doesn't bother me. I am as far from being a germophobe as is humanly possible. As much as I subscribe to money not bringing me happiness, so do I believe that which does not kill me makes me stronger. I don't wash my apples, I squish fruit flies with my thumb and forefinger, and I rarely get sick. As a result, bring me your dirty toilets and out-dated sinks, as long as there are no rusty nails which will require an as yet uninvented tool to reach an unreachable spot which houses a nut which has been rusted into its current position since your centennial home was first on the market.

 

Cleaning Bathrooms: Again, I'm no germophobe, so as long as the cleaning the washroom isn't a prelude to painting the thing, bring it on.

Cooking and Cleaning Up Afterward: I love cooking, as long as there is sufficient time and counter space. I don't mind clearing the table and cleaning the kitchen after a meal either, I don't enjoy doing both. That is the standing policy in our house: if you cook you don't clean, and vice-versa. There are exceptions to the rule: I will gladly clean after my own home cooking if my better half is seeing to brushing little teeth, washing little hands and faces, and getting the troupes into their pjs. Scrubbing pot-scum can be infinitely easier than preventing cavities in a tired child.

How goes the division of labour in your home? After more than a decade together, the two of us have reached a definite rhythm and balance, which is supported by a deep understanding of who enjoys doing more of what. That being said, I'll never enjoy homemaking so much that money couldn't buy me a little more happiness...and cleanliness, too.

 

Comments

[Making Our Life Matter]

What a great post, and the Mr. Mom picture made the whole thing!

[Andrea]

I'm that lucky girl whose husband actually likes cleaning. But for some reason he hates "picking up." So I get stuck with the day to day while he does the deep stuff. Not so bad!

[Lynn Reilly]

I guess after 11 years of marriage, my husband and I have our rhythm as well, but it doesn't take away from the fact that I abhor housework. All of it. Suzy homemaker and I will never swap tips, unless she tells me the quickest way to get out of it.

Another great post!

[Kathy]

I'm with Lynn, I really hate housework. I didn't mind it so much when it was just my husband and I, but I have to say having the kids means an endless amount of just surviving from one mess to another! Dusting is not that bad, and when I can do it without anyone bugging me the bathroom can be a bit zen like to me. My husband does the laundry and ironing and we both do what needs to, but since I'm home I do get more of the day to day household stuff, be on weekends he really does it all, I can not complain at all! Gardening, is not work, it's an obsession, and there I'm on my own. I do it all and am quite happy!! Thanks for another great post!!

[Dominique@Dominique's Desk]

I still don't like doing housework although I have to do the majority of it. However come weekend hubby takes over the cooking and cleaning and it's a good balance.

[Sara]

Wow, I love this! My husband also contributes on a pretty regular basis to housework and I think it makes the marriage much better. We have the same rule about cooking and dishes: whoever cooks doesn't do the cleaning afterwards. He also likes to vacuum. But he's definitely a bit of a germaphobe, so any heavy cleaning is my job :)