Do women have this problem?
Are there topics you will not bring up with your girlfriends because you know how they're going to react and it's just not worth it?
My daughter's birthday is Valentine's Day.
(Before you feel sorry for her, let me share with you: from her future teenage boyfriend's perspective, this is a blessing. As an adolescent I was all thumbs when it came to this 'special day to show your love.' I had already taken my girlfriend out for our 'six-month anniversary'. I had already bought her a present for her birthday with my net income from working at the local video store. I had no ideas, nor any cash left, to impress my Valentine. Combining a birthday and this other day to honor your paramour is a windfall.
For her red-letter day we bought her a Betta Fish. 'Emma' is beautiful: glimmering hues of purple and blue, a head so black the scales reflect the room light.
What attracted me to this breed is the simplicity of their care. In the store they are kept in small bowls, without heaters or filters. I have two colleagues who store them in similar fashions on their desks.
Perfect. Easy maintenance for a 5-year-old whose shelves are filled with books and stuffed mammals.
When the children finally slept that day, I researched the frequency with which I would need to change Emma's water. I was instead overwhelmed with online forums underlining the cruelty associated with keeping these fish in small bowls. 3-5 litres, one post read. Heated and filtered water, said another.
I actually became somewhat despondent.
Darn the internet. Remember the good old days when information was only gleaned from a trip to the library? I never would have bothered, after all: it's just a fish, right?
But, alas; the information was now known.
When I voiced my concerns to friends, relatives, and colleagues (Hey! What's wrong with being thorough?? There's a life at stake!), they regarded me as though I had gills for brains.
"Are you kidding?? It's a fish!"
"You realize, they only remember the last 30 seconds of their lives. Even if they swim into the glass, they won't remember having swum into it to 32 seconds ago."
Wow. Harsh, I thought. I let it go. I didn't stop worrying about it, but I let it go.
Interestingly, I realized later I had broached the topic with women only.
I suppose I was worried asking the question of men would seem ridiculous.
But surely I wasn't the only guy out there to have a weak spot for fish-in-a-bowl.
I supposed my broken heart over Emma The Fish's habitat will remain hidden from my guy friends along-side my search for a smooth, aroma-free, reasonably-priced facial moisturizer.
I've been using my wife's. The container isn't big enough for double-dipping. And at the moment I smell like fresh herbs and dandelions.
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