A Young Child's Guide to Meeting Deadlines. (or: Why Your Parents are Always Freaking Out!)

When Getting Dressed for School or a Morning Activity:

• Use the following sequence:
  • Left leg in pants, right leg in pants, head through neck-hole, right arm and then left arm through armholes, left sock on, right sock on.
• Do not be distracted by:
  • Hole punchers, My Little Pony, the planets hanging from the ceiling, the garbage truck outside, the Lion King soundtrack, yesterday's uncompleted drawing on the floor, or worrying about which pair of underwear on your bed is fresh.

When Called for Breakfast:

• Use the following sequence:
  • Go to the bathroom first!
  • Sit at the table, use the provided utensils to bring the provided meal from your plate to your mouth until 6/7ths of your food is consumed, then enquire about dessert.
• Do not be distracted by:
  • The toy you weren't supposed to bring to the table, the newspaper I'm hiding behind, the fact the house is a couple of degrees colder than comfortable, our new fish, the recycling truck outside, wondering why there is a pair of underwear on the dining room table.

When Leaving for School:

• Use the following sequence:
  • Go to the bathroom first!
  • Left shoe, right shoe, jacket on left arm, jacket on right arm, left mitt, right mitt, hat, school bag, lunch bag.
• Do not be distracted by:
  • The T.V. (which shouldn't really be on in the first place), the mysterious leftovers in your lunch bag, the toy you wanted to show your classmate but can't be found, the fact that it's only Tuesday and you're already tired, the neighbor's landscaper's truck outside.
  • (P.S.: If I'm helping you get dressed -  even though I shouldn't, you're 7 - because we're running late again, please don't lean on my head while I put on your boots; my back isn't what it used to be.)

When it's Time for Homework:

• Use the following sequence:
  • Go to the bathroom first!
  • Ask for snack once.
  • Remove you books from your backpack, get your pencil case from your room, open your agenda to the page listing today's work, prepare your first exercise, wait for mom or dad.
• Do not be distracted by:
  • The toy you left on the table after breakfast (and Daddy never removed...all day), yesterday's uncompleted drawing which is now on the dining room floor, the fact that it's only Tuesday and not only are your more  tired than this morning, but now Daddy's cranky too; the fact that your discouraged at having to color-in 42 little fish for homework when clearly 20 would have sufficed, hunger pangs since Daddy still hasn't brought snack, the neighbor's kid already playing outside.

When Called for Supper:

• Please see item #2 - "When Called for Breakfast" (veggies included!), but wash your hands first (With warm water and soap!...I'll feel and smell them afterwards to check!)

At Bedtime:

• Use the following sequence:
  • Left pyjama leg on, right pyjama leg on, pull on pyjama top, brush teeth (remember: brush  for as long as a whole song on the radio), wash your hands and face ( please see corresponding caveat in previous item), put your clothes on your bed (not on your floor next to that hole puncher and that drawing), report upstairs for story time.
• Do not be distracted by:
  • Arguing with your sibling over who gets to choose the story, hole punchers, My Little Pony, the planets hanging from the ceiling, the Lion King soundtrack, yesterday's uncompleted drawing on the floor, or worrying about which pair of underwear on your bed is fresh.

At Lights-Out

• Use the following sequence:
  • Go to the bathroom first!
  • Slip quietly into unconsiousness.
• Do not:
  • Ask Daddy what you're doing tomorrow. Please, simply refer to the list above.

*******

Then again, what's the hurry? You're only young once; enjoy it.

Comments

[Courtney]

So true! How can I get my almost two year old to abide by these fantastic guidelines…that would be great and so much more time effective.

[Pamela / Pamela's Heavenly Treats]

Wow great post, this is very true. thanks for coming over to my blog and leaving that really FUNNY comment :-)

[Carla Karam]

Kenny... great reference guide to my life! How did you know? LOL.... great post.

[Ang]

LOL, I'm totally distracted, wondering which underwear on the bed is clean!!! (Although apparently I'm not supposed to be, ha!)

[Leigh]

That's a lot of strewn around undies and bathroom breaks lol! THe most important break being the one before bed :)
Very ture - You are only young once! And they grow up way to fast!
Leigh @oneandoneequalstwinfun.com

[Regina]

I will have to print this out and print it to my fridge. Thanks for putting this together. My kids need structure most days and this will definitely help.

[Kenya G. Jonson]

I enjoyed your list Kenny. My son is seven/first grade. I didn't think I would be repeating this same stuff in MARCH that I said on the first day of school. It never fails that something isn't done when the bus is coming. Fortunately the bus passes our house and circles around the neighborhood. So we know how much time we have left and we are at the corner in time. I don't know about you but I'm ready for Spring break. Of course I'll still have to ask, "Did you brush your teeth?"